Meme Moment

I've been tagged by Andy of Vermont to Continue a Meme.....Apparently the rules are that I am to cut and paste a list of sentence beginnings "If I were a...." and then complete the sentence for three of them. I then tag another person to continue the game...
So, without further ado

If I could be a piece of furniture I'd be...one of those big round balls you sit on at the computer desk...mixing work, ergonomic correctness, and a sense of the zany (bounce! bounce! bounce!).

If I could be a professor...... I'd be the beatnik cool professor who would sit on the desk cross legged and wear funky cloths and be sardonically amusing. My class would adore me and I wouldn't let any of them know my secret favourite student. I'd bake cookies on exam day and encourage discussion and come up with cool ideas for class assignments. I'd also be a loquacious one that doesn't stick to the one sentence rule.

If I could be a super-evil-genius...well who says I'm not. Now that you know though, I may have to kill you. (picture me holding up my little pinkie, twirling my mustache, patting my cat, and laughing manically --> and yes I can cover all these cliches at once because I'm an evil GENIUS)

And just because I don't like following rules, I'll throw in number 4.

If I could be an annoying catch phrase.... I'd be a nerdy one, but in a slyly ironic sense so you'd never be sure if I was in on the joke or oblivious to it....